The Only Love I Know

You light a cigarette

Trying to calm the nerves

And revive the peace,

Whilst forgetting the past.

Creating a secret to embed in your every sentence

Without a single truth published within

Without a peek of silence ventured out

Your yellow stained fingers hold me in your hands

That is directed towards family

Like a gun to a roach

Or a storm to a bird.

You use me as a weapon

Pulling the trigger of a revolver

And placing gunpowder in my palms.

Throwing the knife

And gifting me the handle.

If you were the robber

I would be the driver,

If you were the farmer

I would be the sheep

Collateral damage

That Italicized your narcissistic behaviors,

And strengthened your power.

A mistake that was used

Or a accident that was abused

In hope of gaining,

Anything.

And the moment you throw the rolled tobacco to the ground

A void is created in your mind

Placing balance in the past

And balancing nothing but yourself in the future.

Monstrous accusations begin

While you objectify my love

And my home.

No right

No love

No time

No new beginnings.

I grab the small delicate roll off the ground

And hold it in my hand

Power now in my palm

Decisions at my fingertips.

Placing addiction in my mouth.

A salivating desire for peace.

As I fall into a different type of release.